Stop. Movie Time.

As I spent the first month and a half of my new life in Chi-Town completely and utterly alone, I felt in necessary to engage in a lot of soul searching coupled with tantric meditation and facilitated by lots of tiny aromatherapy candles.

And by that I mean I went to the movie theater alone.  A lot.

I don’t know about you guys, but before I moved here, I had never gone to the movie theater alone before.  When I went with a group of friends or on a date back home, I’d look at those sad lonely losers, sitting quietly in seats far from other people, glancing forlornly at the happy groups of people around them.  Poor schmucks.

But then, when I got here, and the days were blistering hot and I had nothing to do all day except lie in bed, I decided to head to the well air conditioned movie theater and kill a few hours before I could go to sleep.  So I made the long bus ride to the city center, bought an expensive ticket and saw a movie.

Then I went back next week.

And then a few days after that.

Holy crap.  Seeing movies alone is the best thing in the world.  No one makes you talk to them during the commercials before the previews start.  The previews are twice as amazing as usual.  And during the movie, no one laughs if you get startled and jump a little bit, which is always a problem for me, even during kid movies.

Anyway, all that to say, lonely movie going is awesome and you should try it.  Here are a few I’ve seen lately:

You might be thinking Seth Rogen can’t hack it in a drama.  You might be right.  But he can hack it in a dramedy.  This was a surprisingly touching film, and I admit, I even cried a little bit.  And that’s saying something, because I’m not a crier.  On a creepier note, this made me want to kidnap Joseph Gordon-Levitt.  I’d probably ask him to wear a wig or something, though.

OK, you look at reviews, and you read, “Too complicated!”  “Convoluted plot!”  Obviously, those critics are morons, because I am completely dense and I knew what was going on.  This was probably one of the better movies I’ve seen all year.  The younger actors were especially good; I mean you know you’re going to get great performances out of Ciaran Hinds and Helen Mirren, but the younger folks proved they could match them like…act for act…or whatever.  Good story.

When I was little, I became obsessed with the Planet of the Apes series.  I wanted to own a gorilla and maybe marry Charlton Heston.  I don’t know why.  As you could probably tell from this entry, I get obsessed with weird things.  When I heard they were making a revised Planet of the Apes, I was all over it.  This movie was weird…in a good way.  But I must say, the best actors were the monkeys.  James Franco has always struck me as a bit of a douche, so seeing him lose screen time to a CGI chimp really made this movie worth it.

Funniest movie I have seen in a long, long time.  Bar none.  That is all.

Who doesn’t love a good epidemic movie that gets you scared enough to consider getting a flu shot?  THIS girl.  I have a sneaking suspicion that this whole movie was made to make people buy more over the counter drugs.  Shove it up your ass, mega-pharm.  I’m probably a person who would have gotten herself infected early on so I could build up immunity.  And then I would be the last person alive and I could see movies alone all the time.  Anyway.  Matt Damon and Kate Winslet were in it, and I would marry both of them in a small civil ceremony in Amsterdam, so it makes no difference as to how little I liked the actual film.

Seen any good ones lately?

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1 Comment

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One response to “Stop. Movie Time.

  1. I definitely want to see 50/50 and The Debt. I’ve seen two movies alone in theaters in my entire life. It wasn’t a bad experience, it’s just that there’s rarely a movie that I want to see so badly that I don’t care if no one else is going with me. Most of the time I can wait until I can watch it at home.

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